The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

*NOW PLAYING:*
Song: Waiting for the World to Fall
Artist: Jars of Clay
Album: Music Inspired by The Chronicles of Narnia
Quote: "I'm waiting for the world to fall. I'm waiting for the scene to change. I'm waiting when the colours come. I'm waiting to let my world come undone."
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Ah... a weekend of ups and downs... literally and metaphorically... heheh.

*THE GOOD*

Wednesday, I had a surprise run-in with Joyce on campus. We met up at a coffee shop for studying and later, she was very nice and invited me to dinner at her place (where, incidentally, I was able to see Lil for the first time in a while). After not seeing Joyce all summer, twas nice to just catch up, discuss christianity-related issues, and just pray for each other. A pleasant surprise on an otherwise rainy Wednesday.

Friday night, had a H2O fellowship committee meeting that went quite well. We planned the Saturday Gatineau hike and the events of the next couple of weeks.

Saturday, had a meager worship team practise in the morning (more on that later) and then it was off to CCCO to meet up with the H2O'ers for the Gatineau Hike! Worried that it would rain Saturday afternoon, we were blessed with great (if a little cold) weather! The hike was great... good friends, good scenery, and it was nice to be outside breathing in fresh air and getting some exercise. Rumour had it that we hiked a total of about 5 km. It was also nice to get the chance to talk to some people... getting to know them better. We swung by Steph's house in Orleans afterwards for pizza... for which everyone was quite hungry for after the hike. Being one of the 3 drivers to Gatineau, I was lucky to have not made a driving error throughout the whole Gatineau drive... but that changed drastically as soon as I entered the city of Orleans! :P Wrong turns, missed houses, trips into construction lanes, and sudden drops from pavement onto gravel... grrrr... I don't think Orleans likes me very much, eh Steph? Heheh. :P Fortunately, I escaped alive long enough to take Bonnie home afterwards. I orignally made plans with Serena to do some studying and watch the MWS Worship DVD with her but by the time I got back to Kanata, I was quite tired and it was getting late. Ended up trying to stay up late to study but without getting much done, ended up falling asleep.

***

ah, comfy chair 

the girls 

+ some boys 

+ family 

= friends 
***

*THE BAD*

Sunday, my small team was up for worship... I dunno what it is, but I am just not passionate or excited about leading worship at EACO anymore... I already wasn't in the best of moods getting to church (I was frantically running late and knocked over my cd tower by accident on my way out), but then when I started leading worship, stuff just started to go wrong... which usually doesn't happen to me that often when leading. For one, my throat felt raspy and dry... leading to me croacking quite a few times while leading and unable to hit certain notes... my voice just didn't sound good at all... uuuuggghhh... and then my guitar string broke. :P So ok... try to be calm and smooth, Tim... we'll just fade out this song.... but wait, I still got offeratory song coming up and the whole second set to lead... with no operable guitar. Think fast, Tim. Ok no choice but for me to switch to piano... but that would mean I'd be leading from the side, leaving poor Ruby to sing alone at the pulpit... and I'd need to make a second copy of the music... luckily Jerry was able to play piano for the offeratory, allowing me to hectically find music and think of a solution. Ok, so second set starts with me trying to lead from the piano... but of course the wrong overhead is up with the wrong song... perhaps a misplace on my part?... arrghh... didn't play too well on the piano either since, of course, I didn't go over the songs. :P Maybe, overall, it wasn't that big of a deal... aftewards, Steve mentioned he didn't even notice anything went wrong... but it just really frustrated me... and leading worship should not be frustrating to me since I thought it was something I enjoyed doing. I guess I've just been frustrated with worship at EACO for a while now... Now, it isn't even just about the perenial frustration of the congregation not responding... Take my team, for instance... with the new reshuffle of teams, I'm stuck with two new people who have little experience leading worship...and I'm not quite sure where to put them. In big churches, usually qualified people would join worship teams, but in little ones, everyone who wants to can get up there. Meh. I'm at my best when I've got a solid, reliable, mature worship team that forms a full band. I like being creative with my sets, trying different transitions, styles, and tones to keep things fresh, and to keep challenging myself so I can improve. I like using dynamics, medley'ing songs, and making smooth transitions and an overall smooth set. With this new team, I will be taking a step backwards since now I'll have to simplify things so the new members can learn. I don't have much patience for underskilled members... mostly because of the limited time we have to prepare a worship set and I have a certain quality of worship music that I want to reach and strive for... Arthur, my old electric guitar player had to move out of town abruptly, leaving me a void on my team... although he can be disruptive at times, his enthusiasm was encouraging and his abilities made things interesting for me to manage and allowed me to try different things, a more modern worship twist. Now, I feel like I am really constrained and can't do what I want with this team or reach the quality of worship that I want and demand of myself... bah. Also, it just doesn't seem like people are really devoted to the worship teams or entusiastic about worship. My team on Sunday, for instance, consisted of just 3 people... two were out of town, one didn't reply and was MIA at practise... and I've led worship by myself quite a few times in the past because my team was MIA... It's totally different when I help lead worship at Celebration Church. I know we're not supposed to compare... but for me, EACO is taking the enjoyment out of leading worship. With the Celebration Church worship teams, people are enthusiastic and we all work together well because we're all united by a common goal: we're passionate about bringing a good sense of worship to the congregation. The congregation itself, as I've mentioned countless times before, is much more mature, responsive, and more tailored to my style of modern worship. I enjoy helping with worship there... I feel appreciated there... I feel like my efforts and abilities are put to good use there... I can't say say the same for EACO any more. The hard work and the effort are just not providing any fruit, and it's been many years now that things have been stagnant, and now I feel like I'm sliding backward in my progress. I was recently offered the worship deacon position at my church, but I just could not bring myself to do it. I turned it down... something I couldn't imagine doing a couple of years ago. Also, I've been considering switching churches for some time now but dunno... will have to give it some more thought. It's just frustrating.... and I know I'm rambling... sorry. heheh.

*THE UGLY*

And now, back to school... more mid-terms coming up... busy week ahead... lotsa material to cover, so little time... group projects/cases/presentations also coming up... constant stream of due dates... eeek, and my Industrial Relations mid-term that was a disaster... but at least everyone else seemed to struggle with it. But if I didn't pass it (and I doubt I did), I might hafta drop that course since the midterm's worth 35% and it's an elective!... which is gonna be a b*tch because then I'd need to take a summer course elective before I can graduate. :P grrr.... School is just not my thing... I learn best from experience... I can't wait to enter the workforce... the only question is when that will happen. Ah well, back to studying.