The search continues...

*LISTENING TO:*
Song: Rebirthing
Artist: Skillet
Album: Comatose
Quote: "Rebirthing now, I wanna live for love. Wanna live for you and me. Breathe for the first time now I come alive somehow..."
* * *

Alrighty, listening to the advice of my faithful readers, I've switched back to my old blog template... meh, twas worth a shot. Heheh.

Unemployed and no longer a student, it's been kinda complacent lately, as I've been trying to keep busy and occupied and not vegetate. It feels weird having that much free time, and it almost bugs me 'cause I want to be doing something... anything productive, preferably earning an income or whatever. But from talking to friends, I know that the full-time job search can be long and tedious so I guess I just gotta be patient. Been applying to several places, signing up to online job search agents, and revising my resume... but so far, I've only heard back from jobs that are of the "direct sales" variety, which is not really what I'm hoping for. I know I've got to start at the bottom and work entry level before moving up, but I'd still like to work for a respectable company or for the government. Ideally, I'd like to work a year or two in Ottawa first to get some income and experience under my belt... but I guess I gotta be open to where the job leads. Hoping some friends and people I know can pass along my resume internally, with the hope for a better chance of being selected for interviews. If I don't get a job by September (and it seems unlikely at this point), perhaps I'll work part-time retail for a bit just to get a little cash and keep busy? Meh, we'll see. Ah well, the ongoing search continues...

On the bright side, the free time has given me the opportunity to get together with friends and spend more time helping with fellowship stuff...

Spent quite a few days the past couple of weeks hanging with friends like Bonnie, Steph, and Karen. Bonnie's had to study for her MCATs under huge time pressure, so it's been beneficial for both of us to get out of the house and head to a coffee shop so we can do some focused work/study without being tempted to fall asleep or get distracted with other things. So yeah, it definitely kept me motivated to be productive. Karen was also able to join us for some study seshs and it was cool just to kinda reflect and catch up on our Shanxi missions trip experiences, make lunches, and just hang. Again, trying to soak up as much time with Karen before she leaves for Waterloo in September. Heheh, and Steph was able to wander her way into the west end more often lately and I've been making some trips to Orleans lately too so it's been cool just talking and hanging with her as well. Got to hear and see pics of her experience in Belize, which is always enjoyable to hear friends experiencing new things. Heheh, oh and fellowship discussion preparation took MANY unrelated tangents ranging from food to movies. ;) Was also able to hang out with old friend Wayne, who's also in town looking for a job, and also got a chance to jam with Frank one Sunday evening. As always, twas great just talking, sharing, fellowshipping, and jamming with Franko. Heheh, we went old school and brought out a lot of old classic praise songs but it was still really fun to be able to play off of each other and play together, just two guys, two guitars, and two microphones. Heheh, twas kinda like an asian christian Simon & Garfunkel there... haha... but yeah, we're both thinking maybe we can pull off an intimate acoustic praise night together or something sometime, perhaps? Oh yeah, and was able to get our Zoo Crew back together for a bit too, as we went out for lunch at Lone Star and I had dinner at Lapointe with Shannon and Megan. Again, twas just exciting to hear new opportunities and experiences everyone's been having. Shannon just got from a backpacking trip from Europe and Megan might be taking a journalism job in South America.

As for fellowship, we've all been gearing up for the summer retreat that we'll be holding next weekend! We're all getting excited, especially after visiting the awesome house we'll be staying in and exploring the nearby lakefront area, in White Lake, near Arnprior. Taking a break from our Life Wide Open book study, we'll be covering two parts of the Louie Giglio series "Lost in Translation" as we decided that the theme of the retreat this year will be based on "God's will for God's life"... apparently, the recurring theme that we've all been struggling with lately. So yeah, definitely looking forward to an awesome time there as we'll be staying two nights. It's also been cool seeing the H2O fellowship committee working well together and working hard to promote this retreat. Let's hope that'll continue throughout the year as we'll be ushering in new H2O members, new committee members, and saying goodbye to others. Always in our prayers, the fellowship has grown tremendously since we witnessed its formation. As we evaluate the fellowship and see where we can improve, I'm hoping we'll continue to grow in spirit as well as in our closeness to each other. There's a chance I might be taking a more prominent role in the fellowship committee the upcoming year, but still not sure about that yet, though I've been encouraged by friends. I think I've grown to appreciate and embrace this fellowship more, and grown to appreciate individual members more as I've gotten to know people better, even the "newbie" people that I don't know so well. Especially upon leaving for China, I really appreciated the support many of the fellowship members showed, as they were dedicated to wake up so early in the morning to see each one of us off at the airport and pray for us before we left. It was something they didn't hafta do, but they chose to do so... and I just really appreciated it and took it to heart. Last night, a whole bunch of us went for siu yeah (chinese midnight snack) at Chu Sing after fellowship and twas just a fun time, laughing, joking around, and enjoying each other's company.

Also, we had a good LWO discussion last night about our passions and how our passion for Christ should be at the top of our list in everything we do... and it's so simple but makes so much sense. I always had a "passion" for worship leading but leading up to my China missions trip, God kinda coaxed me into understanding that if I keep my passion burning for Christ above all, I'm not limited to a specific ministry area but can find passion in different ways of serving and in my daily life. Such was the case when God broadened my scope by instilling in me a passion for youth ministry during the missions trip.

And so leads me to the dilemma that I've been struggling with lately... finding a home church. I went back to EACO to visit because my old youth pastor, Pastor Wayne, was back in town visiting to speak there. But as I left, I knew that it was no longer my home and that there was nothing there for me anymore. When I decided to help out at Celebration, I made a concerted effort to not "church hop" but to really dedicate myself to that church for a consistent period of time. However, while the people there have been awesome, I dunno, I just could never quite shake off the itch that I never quite fit in there. I've made some good friends there, but I dunno, I guess I still don't get the sense that I feel at "home". With the complications that arose and now, with the arrival of the new pastor, Jason, I can't help but feel a little expendible now, 'cause Jason used to lead worship at his old church and also plays guitar. Meh, I dunno, could be just me. But in any case, I'm feeling that perhaps God is calling me to move on and that I've maybe served my purpose there by helping and mentoring the worship team there? I dunno, shall definitely hafta pray hard about it. In the meantime, I'm considering checking out CCCO's morning english services, who knows? With the fellowship as a support base and a lot of parents and elder members there that know me, maybe it'll be a good place for me? I dunno... all I know is I'll be praying about it and asking for God to reveal to me where He wants me to be. And the search continues...

In the aftermath of the Shanxi missions trip, my fellow missions team members and I have been discussing about what a different world it is over there and how different it is from our way of living over here. So many things we take for granted and so many things we are blessed with, it blows our minds. We've also been sharing about how the experience has affected our lives both spiritually and personally in different ways and the lessons we all learned... All in all, it was an experience of a lifetime, and I'd love to go back to help out again sometime or in another missions field, and maybe even take my parents with me. At home, my heart, my thoughts, and my prayers, are still with the kids we taught there. Even though we only spent a couple of weeks there, I will not soon forget them, nor the staff members diligently working at Evergreen in Yangqu County. God bless them all.